Andre
First of all, it has to said that there is no perfect relationship anywhere in the world. Couples, lovers (as the case may be) once awhile do have some level of difficulties some time in their relationship, and it only takes understanding and wisdom to handle these types of matters. There are common problems we encounter in relationships; some of them are minor while in other cases, they are more severe than we thought. But this differs from the kind of relationship though, because the approach we give to married couples is not, and should not be replicated among single couples.
In this article, we will try not to be judgmental; we will only suggest the methods that work and leave you to make your decision. Because no matter how accurate our suggestions are, you are the only one who knows the situation better. You also have to understand that an inability to acknowledge your partner’s feelings can cause uncertainties in the relationships. We tend to be selfish with our feelings, thereby leaving our partner behind. Know this; there is no Holy Grail to solving relationship problems, which is why you need to experiment on solutions and choose a specific guideline that works for you.
Before you Leave
There is a popular saying that before you quit a journey, remind yourself why you started it in the first place. The same applies to this before you decide to call it quits in that relationship of yours. Ask yourself, why did I start it in the first place? If you are a married couple, ask yourself why you married him/her out of hundreds of men and women around you.
Once you can find it, dust it and try to renew that promise again. Sometimes we tend to forget so easily, sometimes we are too overwhelmed by the problems in our relationships that we forget to hang on to that purpose why we started the journey in the first place. So before you leave, we advise you to have a rethink. Do a little soul search and you may find a reason to give it one more shot.
Sometimes people justify their wrong actions and will try to persuade their partner to see things their way. This is emotional blackmail and should be checked. So before you call it quits, ask yourself, am I or have I been indulging in any emotional blackmail? Am I trying to protect my emotions at the expense of my partner’s feelings? If your answer is yes, then you need to get rid of the idea of leaving the relationship and start putting in effort to make it work. Start with yourself. In some relationships, one party always play the role of a ‘receiver’ – they believe they are entitled to some certain privileges and will request for emotional and material privileges. When they do this, they forget that their partner also needs it as well.
Before you leave, ask yourself, is he/she physically abusive? This is the dangerous part, and if your answer is yes, we will advise that you try to change him/her, but in a situation where you can’t, please call it quits. Today we often hear stories of growing violence in relationships, both among single and married couples. These events should have been avoided had one of the parties left before the situation degenerated. So we strongly advise that you quit immediately when you notice signs of violent behavior.
Before you Stay
Before you decide to remain with him/her, there are also a few things you need to consider. First, you have to find out whether your spouse is still in love with you. But how do you find this out? There are many ways you can notice if your partner is still in love. The common ones include:
• Feeling of jealousy. This is common among couples. When someone is in love with you, they always want to have you all to their self. They quickly get angry when they see other people around you. But also note, when jealousy gets excessive, it becomes an obsession.
• When he/she wants a fight. This is kind of strange, but it is very true when someone is in love with you. Strangely enough, they will love to pick a fight once awhile. It doesn’t take one round of a fight to end a relationship; rather, it scan strengthen it.
• Respect and support. When someone is in love with you, they always respect and support you no matter what. Even after an argument, they always want to give you that full support you deserve.
• Compliments your bad traits. If someone is in love with you, they will accept your flaws and help you work through it.
The point is, knowing that your partner still loves you is more than enough reason to always stick around that relationship. Again, before you consider staying, make sure he/she doesn’t have any violent temperaments. It is also important to confirm whether he/she still finds you attractive. You can’t spend the rest of your life locked up with someone who doesn’t find you attractive; it is boring.
Finally, it is beautiful being in love. The decision to leave or continue staying in a relationship depends solely on the individual you are dating. So no matter how glaring the point you find here is, it is also important that you put your current situation into consideration before making any decision. Finding your soul mate is indeed a good thing, but never for one day think that it will always be easy. Good relationships require constant hard work to make it work. Always strive to understand your partner as much as you can. Only then will you notice when anything goes wrong and you’ll be able to build from it. Good luck!
